Better Every Day

by luciditewriting

I remember the first week I spent with my (now) husband like it was yesterday. I still don’t know if I believe in the concept of a “soul mate,” but what I do know is that I have never felt more comfortable with and simultaneously more intrigued by anyone. I remember being so happy the first time I visited his apartment (the bachelor pad of all bachelor pads that would eventually become our temporary lodging as a couple). Aesthetically speaking, it was god-awful. But it felt like home.

He cooked me an amazing meal and we talked into the wee hours of the morning (little did I know then that this would be my reality for the next five years… and the rest of my life, I can only hope). The next day, we went to a Shakespeare in the park performance in Hermosa Beach. After the play, we were throwing our folding chairs into the back of his truck when he grabbed me by the arm of his flannel shirt that I was wearing and turned me toward him. His eyes were wet and he was laughing. “I’m not sure why I’m crying. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m happy I’ve found you.”

Five years later, I can tell you that my eyes well up often when I look at him. In the three years we’ve been married, there has never been one moment when I’ve questioned my decision to spend the rest of my life in this relationship. For someone who questions everything, constantly, this is huge. No, this is right. This is home.

I came across a car accident the other day. The paramedics were helping a man about Michael’s size out of a crushed red car (the same color as Michael’s Hyundai). My heart sank and my pulse raced for a moment until I discerned it wasn’t him. I realized that, since the first night we met at Susina in West Hollywood (the beginning of a progressive date that would last— well, it really hasn’t ended yet, I guess), I had never imagined what my life would be like without him. I still can’t bring myself to do so. All I know is that it’s important to live in the moment. To appreciate him every day, which is not difficult to do. I never take for granted how fortunate we are. It just gets better every day.